I’m fucked up. I’m not doing good since I entered university. My grades are dropping. Nothing to save. The odds are never in my favor.
Dreams are real. I can feel it. I cry over it. Maybe it is hard to explain how it works but it is my conviction.This is why I’m still living my life—trying to believe that my dreams are real. But the worst thing is I have to wake up and deal in the place they call the real world.
I think it is normal to wish that you were dead. It is like wishing to be happy when you’re sad. Because we are all struggling everyday. Specially when you feel that every different day is same scenario as the other. Nothing’s changed. And the best solution you would think is shut off to avoid the existence to this never ending labyrinth. It’s normal to wish it but it isn’t when you commit.
I just learned to enjoy life, live in the moment and never even try to care about what does future hold. I don’t know if this is good thing but I can feel that I’m starting to run away from reality and leaving all those responsibilities. This moment is the place where I need to be happy and lovely sad. I’m alone but I’m committed with anyone and anything around me. People will run away and they will try betray me but all of those things is worth living and it is part of my existence in this universe. They will tell me what to do and they will nag at me for not doing it but I have my own world my own theory and how does all of this things and ideas work. I will never let them manipulate me.